Numbness creeps silently
Over the dusting of years
Of SitReps and sources and history relearning
And I’m tired to the bone.
Yet, I know I signed up for this
I was nudged to jump in –
And I resisted at first,
Until the undertow got me, and pulled me in…
Sucked into the deepest of deep rabbit holes
Of painful truths
Such that common joys like taking communion with my family
Became a moral decision of deep angst
that I could not escape
from myself or their questioning judgement.
How does one communicate with those who are still on the shore?
Just looking at the ocean of truth?
With no intention of jumping in?
Because “It’s cold and you’re crazy!”
I’m tired of the shore, the sunburns, the tired skin that begs to be covered
The grittiness of it all
After awhile the cold water numbs –
which is merciful for the truths do hurt
My favorite beach on Gaia was destroyed the other day
Butterfly Beach, where I received my diamond ring of promise
Is now a cesspool of mud and bodies…
I find it interesting this was hardly noted on the ‘news’
And it breaks my heart.
Yet the allegory is pungent, the mud thick on the shore.
So for those of us who have been dog paddling for so long we can’t even remember
the forgetfulness of the 3D beach
To us, I applaud
And I thank God for the numbness
That soothes with chills
And numbs the pain.
For when this all goes down and gets real
And the beach is gone
And suddenly the beach dwellers
Have to see
Have to swim
Have to learn
Have to hear
And their pain is so great when it all happens at once –
Yet, the loneliness in the water at this time is great as well –
not to be underestimated –
And so I connect
I connect deeply
With the Mother
With my pain
And in turn we are healed.
So Yoseph, I’m ok with the numbness
I’ve been swimming this long
And I’ll continue
For as long as it takes.
I’m comforted knowing that the starship me
Is at least comfortable and surrounded by love
And I pull that hope to me eagerly
With chilled and clenched grip
For surely, surely, surely we are there now –
The channels say “All is Well”
But they are not the ones dog paddling in the old to new vibrations
And I try to remember what being blissed out was like
But it’s too painful to remember
The numbness in this instance is a blessing –
not a curse
So God I’ll cling to my blessings
So long as you’re in the water alongside me
So long as you’re my companion in this moment
And I realize that God
Is all around me –
Is in me – that God
Is in the water surrounding me,
And like a buoy, keeps me afloat
As I bob the waves
I am not alone
This experience I share with the All That Is…
And this understanding begins
to slowly, gently thaw
the numbness of the ridicule away
And finally I can feel at home and at peace
With this divergent path from the norm
Swimming strong in the ocean of truth,
eyes open, heart aglow
Because I know – I know! –
I am safe in the storm, the changeover,
the wake of the wave
Thawed by the love of God
the anger washes away,
And I get a glimpse of bliss and oneness,
within my heart, which beats louder, stronger, ready to create more beauty, more hope, more light for this precious planet that I love.
So I say bring it!
Let’s create it!
And the shore that we will set renewed feet on
Will be that of Nova Gaia, our destiny.