You are exhausted and perhaps a bit angry. This is not how you anticipated you would feel now or ever again. Even though you are prepared for your new life, you are experiencing a time between.
You are neither of 3D or fully beyond 3D. So your thoughts flow between “I should” to “I don’t want to” to “But if I don’t, will I be alone?” Frightening thoughts for many. Encouraging, even forcing you to make decisions you feel too tired to make.
You have the energy to perform a few tasks around the house or maybe greet a few friends, but not much more. Yet, you push yourself to do more, to be as you once were filled with energy and ideas.
Even though it might feel counter-intuitive, your basic responsibility now is rest. The energies floating about for the next few days will take more of your energy than you thought possible. This last month of your calendar year is a culmination of all that has happened throughout the year. The same has been true in past years – especially since you initiated your transition – but the energies of this December are more forceful and dramatic than any you have experienced while of the earth in any lifetime.
That is not to say you will become ill or leave earth because of these dramatic December energies, but instead that you will not have the energy you expect every year at this time.
Others, not awakening or awake, will pooh-pooh your need for rest. You, the party person, wanting to be home and drinking hot chocolate. You, the giving person, not having the energy to host anyone this year. So, those yet of 3D will try to force you and others into a 3D routine that is comfortable for them – but exhausting for you.
It is time to listen to your heart. Do you have the energy or the need to be the life of the party, the caretaker, the shoulder to cry on, the shopper, the food preparer, the decorator, or money giver as you have in the past? If so, that is wonderful. But if not, honor yourself. Most of all, trust yourself.
You have transitioned beyond group think UNTIL that group think includes holiday expectations and guilt. For indeed, those used to your holiday preparations and concerns will expect you to comply this year with the added guilt of “We need you to create the bond we are used to because this year has been so uncomfortable.” Many of you will comply. Not because you want to or have the energy to do so, but because those shoulds outweigh your sovereignty, your trust in yourself.
The fear that no one will like you if you do not comply with their needs will reign supreme for many of you. Buying love through the financial or physical draining of your resources will continue until you say, “NO” to yourself and others. You can no longer be partially 3D.
This year, 2020, was your year of discovering you and what you need despite temptations to create what others need as you have done for 3D eons.
If you continue to fulfill others’ needs before doing so for yourself, you will create emotional and physical barriers for yourself. Catering to others’ needs before yours is now similar to touching a hot stove. You will burn yourself either physically or emotionally.
Many of you dislike that last paragraph because you believe it means taking away your freedom to be. Instead, it is creating your freedom to be. If it is your role to serve others, you will feel joyous doing so. But if the very thought feels heavy and carrying it out is exhausting or creates some physical ailment, you are, in a sense, touching a hot stove.
You are different. Allow that thought to be. Then allow that others may also be different. So informing those with expectations of you being the caretaker or party maker may create a divide – or be completely acceptable.
It is your choice. Do you wish to sacrifice your emotional or physical health for others, or do you wish to claim yourself? The last few days of 2020 will clarify that concept for you as 3D expectations clash with your new being. Who are you? Or better yet, who do you wish to be? For this is the dividing line, many thought they would never have to cross.
Some of you are declaring to yourself that you can do holiday preparations a bit at a time and so continue to meet your rest needs and others’ expectations. So you might. But at what cost to you? That is your decision. And this is most definitely decision time. So be it. Amen.
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