June 25, 2020
Ivo: So, my love, after days of explaining to you the situation with your neighbour and your super, we will recap everything into the bigger picture for all to understand.
Me: Yes, I’ve been hearing what you and Athena are saying and it makes sense.
Ivo: You are doing the Course in Miracles. Jesus is telling the listeners to give up attack thoughts.
You need to understand that, in third dimensional life that you learned to attack other people because they were attacking you, or you had that perception. When someone laughed at you, ridiculed you, as did your father and your brother, you learned that you had to attack them back because somehow that made it fair, or for whatever reason. Your father taught you to attack others and he showed you through example. He seemed to believe that this was being strong. It is not. It is being weak.
It is said that to be vulnerable in a world such as yours is a strength.
You are not vulnerable. The only thing that would make you vulnerable to attack is your own understanding of it.
In your third dimensional world with its low frequency patterns of behaviour, precious few can get along.
Vulnerability is the normal state of the human because we live in worlds where one does not attack others, but love them. We would be open to attack if we lived on your planet in the third dimension, however we would love the person who did the attacking because we would realize that we are not at fault.
And this is the way your world is beginning to move now.
You must see all people as vulnerable and those who are aggressive, offensive, attacking as being the ones who are trying to appear otherwise. They fear their vulnerability.
When you interpret someone’s behaviour as an attack, you will most likely want to attack back. You have been taught to take offense to others’ behaviour. Your mother taught you that. She took offense constantly at what your father said and did, and taught you that his behaviour was unacceptable. No. What is unacceptable is her response to it. Had she thought otherwise, your family would have learned how to live with and accept your father the way he was. Think about that. You would have grown up not learning how to take offense. What a precious gift that would have been for you.
Now the shoe is on the other foot.
Your mother was behaving in a very un-human way. She took offense to everything and then spewed out her own offenses just to appear invulnerable. She was very critical.
Taking offense is a choice. Attacking back is a choice, not a knee-jerk reaction. You must see it this way. So many of you believe that this is not optional, it is mandatory because you must protect yourselves. You do not have to protect yourself if you do not take offense. If you personalize others’ comments as they are intended, then you will feel offended and hurt. But then you are allowing them to control you.
Me: But these are unloving people.
Ivo: They are fearful people, my love. They are afraid and scared. Only fearful people want to control. Other people can let others be as they are.
Me: Okay. But I still want to find people I can relate to. I’m not interested in engaging with people who don’t think as I do.
Ivo: And this is normal. But should they send attacking comments your way, understand that this is their problem, not yours. They are fearful and attempting to control. You are beyond that now. And yes, you will be tested.
You will not attack another person if you do not take offense. It is that simple. Wars would be averted on your planet if people would learn to see others’ problems as theirs, not yours. You make others’ problems your own when you accept the implied insult. Do not do so. That is a question of standing in your own good self esteem, which is provided through soul, not through ego.
If you react to something in the way that your entire society is conditioned to react, then you are being controlled. Let me repeat: You do not have to protect yourself if you do not take offense. If you personalize others’ comments as they are intended, then you will feel offended and hurt. But then you are allowing them to control you.
For example: Your neighbour says that you are walking around the block to try to make money as a prostitute. Obviously this is not true so you did not react.
Now, on the other hand, your super snickers at the weight you have gained. Had he said, “Boy! Are you ever fat!” you would have countered telling him what a stupid ass you think he is.
What did the assertiveness course tell you to say?
Me: “Yes, you’re probably right. I am fat.” You’re supposed to admit to the truth in the statement rather than taking on the implied shame.
Ivo: Which is a wonderful response. He would have most likely continued by telling you how to eat healthy, and he did tell you to start going for walks.
Me: I am going for walks.
Ivo: Which you could have said.
Me: It’s still none of his business.
Ivo: And you could have said that as well. There are far more ways to respond to someone who is attacking you than by hurting them in return. That is the point I am making. Perhaps you can all practise this and the world’s negativity level will drop somewhat.
Me: Yes. We learned to counter-attack. I even remember making that decision as a child.
Ivo: Yes. You did not attack back beforehand. You would sit and cry because you were hurt.
Me: Well, this was my family.
Ivo: Crying would have been the better response than attacking them. You were transmuting their negative energy.
The idea is not to take on the negative energy by personalizing their comment. Let us do some more examples:
The grocery clerk scoffs because you have purchased more food than you have money for. So you attack her back by saying if their prices weren’t so high, you would be able to afford to shop here.
That is an attack. Or perhaps you choose an attack of a more personal nature such as she is ugly, or she looks like she could use a salon appointment. Or simply calling her one of your society’s normal epithets such as jerk, asshole, etc. These are counter-attacks.
Now the correct response would be a smile and simply saying, “Please process these credits. Thank you.” Do not take on the shame, do not take on any insult. Simply hold your light and process the transaction. Let her deal with her own feelings and do not take on any shame or insult.
Another example: You have indicated that the old tenants’ mail needs to be returned but your mailman keeps delivering it anyway despite your sign on the mailbox and the fact that you asked him before to do so.
Ivo: So you ask him again. But you do not call him a jerk, you simply keep on asking for him to comply. If it takes five times then it takes five times.
Me: Grrrrr. Why should I have to? How come he can’t do his job properly? Or won’t do his job properly?
Ivo: I do not know. But simply keep asking him. And spare yourself wondering why an earthling is inefficient because frankly, most of you are.
Now, let us suppose that more of the neighbours begin with the same putdowns as your next door neighbour. How will you deal with them?
Me: I don’t speak to them unless my next door neighbour is around so I probably wouldn’t have that problem. I would just nod and walk away if they try to talk to me. The reason I started talking to next door is that he seemed to be a nice guy. Turns out he isn’t. So lesson learned. Actually, his friends seem more aboveboard but I’m not giving anyone the benefit of the doubt anymore, not around here.
Ivo: Very well. If he says something to you?
Me: I walk away.
Ivo: Which is fine.
What I am stressing here is that in arguments, differences of opinion, etc. that you learn to keep your energy for yourself and not counter-attack when you are attacked. In counter-attacking, you are allowing the attacker to control you. You must retain control. That is what they do not want, but that is what you do want.
Use the incident to learn from, not to counter-attack. Doing so is a refusal to learn from your life’s circumstances. Anyone who attacks and counter-attacks is projecting their own fears onto others. This is incorrect for 4D.
You are living among people who still behave in the old lower vibrational ways. They will not ascend – you will when you follow this course of action. Give up attacking others.
Giving up attack thoughts will follow on the heels of seeking inner peace through relationship with others.
Me: Thanks, Ivo!